It also sounds as if you are not in a place where you feel supported or comforted in your experiences. Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. It really hurts. have a 7 month old baby and have been going through the same thing ever since he was born. It is good to know you are not the only one it is a hard thing to talk to anyone about so great to have a place to come and be honest with your feelings ..thank you. And even use the same child care you plan to use when you go back to work, if possible. I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. She really doesnt like me and its getting worse. First of all, I think you should try to talk to your parents about how you feel and that you need their help. RIght now he is identifying with dad. Is that true? Mom gets into the bathtub, full of warm (not hot) water with baby. I take care of my son and love him and do the very best I can. In the world of occupational therapy, you often hear about the sensory and emotional needs of older kids who are struggling with sensory processing. Awaken his interest by laying down on the floor and playing with his toys, start kicking a ball, or whatever will catch his interest. "Be gentle with yourself, moms! Please take care. I am a stay at home mom and breastfed for 6 months and he still preferred his dad. I just cant get the image of her red angry little face out of my mind. Im a teacher so am home most days quite early so do see a lot of her. It may be because she may be spoiled to the phase of a daddys girl, or it may be you. 2.) I am really glad to see that I am not the only one with this problem. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. Play lots of games with your daughter. seems like they dont need me anymore. The weird thing is when I pick her up she whines and clings to her dad and when I put her in the car she is fine and talking 10 mins down the road.. is this the transition between both parents? Most likely, your son is going through a phase when he is turning out towards the world. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. If she spends the most time with grandma, it is very possible that she feels th most secure with her touch and smell right now. I get jealous sometimes, and I wish that this was easier. Im happy and relieved to report that our little one is no longer preferring one parent over another. I just googled and found this website.. and saw I was not alone. Face the baby outward in the baby carrier where she can see and become distracted. I still want my mommy on bad days. I would hate for it to be the opposite. Try to see the bonding as a process and give it time. Or maybe you will visit your baby at their child care provider during your lunch break and breastfeed. we spend so much time with our babies, i think its natural for them to pick up on our vibe. Trust me, I feel it too now and then and husband even more, who has been the one NOT chosen especially by our youngest. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. He will go to Nursery without a second glance and to any family or friend without so much as a look of concern over to me. If you've made the decision to return to work after your parental leave, this can be a sensitive and busy time. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. She just says well what can i do/say. Instead allow yourself to really enjoy your time with your daughter. My point is this this WILL pass. Perhaps though your sense of defeat is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Children are not there to build our self-esteem, they cant and often wont, especially if we expect them to act in a certain way, or to be thankful or loving, because we treat them well. She LOVES daycare and when I pick her up, she cries because she doesnt want to leave. At 12 mos the situation was improved. At around 3 to 5 years of age, children tend to become very attached to the parent of opposite gender. When my daughter was 7 months old I left for bootcamp, kind of my last resort I was a teen mom and couldnt get a job and had no money and the military provided us a secure future, but now I regret it. When she was 5 months old, daddy came back.the moment she saw my husband at the door was a funny one. going to bed, having her diaper changed, eating (weve had problems with her wanting to eatanother issue entirely), etc.). And then a last piece of advice ask your mom to help you do the running around fixing things so that you can spend as much time as possible with your little girl. Quick message to Laura- Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. My Postpartum Depression Made Me Reject My Baby. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. But it is so important! Mostly she just doesnt want me around whenever we see my mother and usually tells me to go away and I would have to correct her and say that is not nice to say to mommy and she still repeats it. I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. The more you as her mom can help her both with attachment as a young toddler, but as a child growing more aware of her history, the emotions and questions it raises, the more you can help your daughter grow up as a happy, confident child. And my dad is simply crazy about her. Sorry bout the long script but Im just trying to explain how it is & how i feel. I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. I thought my daughter was the only one to behave this way. I was worried then that since she dealt with so many different nurses who were women, she wouldnt have a clue who I was. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. You can do it. Her father does go out a lot with her on his days but I do not drive and all we do is stay at home. It is a short time when our children really need us as badly as when they are babies and young toddlers. Im often doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. baby rejecting mom after going back to work i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. If the baby doesn't like this, try again later. Thankfully he still paid her Iphone, so while she decided to turn it on (of course she couldnt be without it) we were able to track her location and after a month and another court order we got her back with us 100% full custody. I work 6 days a week an Im home at nights but when he sees me he wont come to me and when I pick him up he throws his head back an starts to kick an screaming an he either runs to his mom or anyone else an its really killing me inside an it makes me feel he doesnt want me but like everybody else Im the only one that can put him to sleep an calm him down but its just hurts me that he doesnt want to be around me my heart is broken I been told it was a phase but I dont know bout that What can I do to want him to want me? You are unhappy and your son and you dont have much fun together. My MIL sees him once a week. From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. I just persevered like you, and it really did get better. But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. It does feel like all I am used for is food and diaper change. I do everything for him and it makes me very sad. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . I adore and love my som immensely. Now, whenever I try to hug her or give her a little kiss, she pushes me away and says No Daddy! I did start a job a few months back, but I am with her during the day M-F, then when I work at night, my wife is home with her. Honestly, I feel like there must be something inherently wrong with me for my own (9 month) baby not to love me as much as my partner. After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. Congratulations on your little daughter. Am a single mum living with my parents. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. I try to comfort him even when hes inconsolable and even when he doesnt seem to want me. After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. Peek-a-boo. It feels like going back to work is a relief, so I can just..get out of her life and let daddy make her happy. I have been feeling so down recently to see that he doesnt seem to recognise me and prefer my mother in law more than me. Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. Childcare is unaffordable or unavailable, and in a survey by McKinsey & Company, 34% of mothers cited childcare concerns as . Paula, Stay At Home Mom Rejected By Baby I recently read a study about the massive positive effects of just spending 15 minutes with a child every day 15 minutes with 100% focus on the child. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. It has shown to be a very effective tool to make children both bond and co-operate instead of challenging us and our rules. If this has happened to you, you might be sad, worried, and frustrated. I think children, at least those without attachment disorders (could this be a possibility with your daughter, I cant recall if you wrote that your little girl IS attached to her dad and just not to you? You havent ruined your baby with your sadness. Skype is also, of course, an option, but your babies may not respond to that with any great interest there and then. Right now, all she really needs is love, skin contact and food. A new baby has arrived, and mom is busy being a mom! Ask your employer if something like this is an option. She wants me over anybody except when they are around. Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. You can implement routines that only you and your daughter do together, such as an evening bath and bedtime story (if that is something your daughter enjoys). I try to fix this by not responding to the kid and shouting at her and show her that I am bad. There are studies showing that babies that are being held a lot actually become independent faster. Sadly even then I think this hard-wiring can persist until well into school years, maybe beyond. I want her to love me again! lying down or the underarm hold). I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. She cries hysterically when she hears her mothers voice on the phone and starts saying No No No. Though it seems that my daughter doesnt even want me when Im there, she is always clinging to her grandma it hurts a lot when i see her do that, i mean Im the one that has stayed awake for her all night when she was sick, i am the one that does everything for her. Before they head back to work after baby, send a text to brighten their day. I am super worried about our long term relationship and bonding. its hard to be a parent but it is very important. Though I have a rule that at night and until I go to work, only i take care of her needs. He wont come to me when I hold out my arms, wont play with me on the mat (where we were having a ball only a few hours earlier) and pushes me away when I hold him or cuddle him. That is actually a very sensitive age when separation and stranger anxiety set is. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. It is quite common to hear new moms worrying about that the love at first sight that they expected when meeting their child for the first time didnt happen. and youre doing the right thing. 2 weeks after I had my baby boy I got Post Partum Depression very very bad but I wasnt pushing my baby away I would feed him and play with him everything that I could do for him not to feel my anxiety and depression I am finally out of this depression but I noticed that my son (11 months) would rather be with his aunt than me. I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). I always thought it was because I am a working mum but it seems that even stay home mums have this problem. I had the same reaction from my baby girl. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. 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